I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
