Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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