Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
