all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Randomize
