the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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