...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
