I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
