I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I want to make a zoo with you.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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