Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize