I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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