dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
