I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
