TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
