She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
