windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
