I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
