I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
