fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Someone shit on the floor
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
