Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
