I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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