You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize