so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
No subtext here. People are naked.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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