doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
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