There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
