He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
