your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
