she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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