I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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