My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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