can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
