Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
