party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
