His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Randomize
