She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize