Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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