Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
