I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
he had hair everywhere except his balls
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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