We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize