I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
