if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
