we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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