You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
