I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
