Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Randomize
