oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
