I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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