i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
