did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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