I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
