You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
