He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Houston, we have a blender
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
