Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
