He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
