Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize