she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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