I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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