weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
