Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
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