I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
