You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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