Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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