but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I wear drunk well.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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