Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
