If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
