that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
